We are all forced to do things we don’t want to do. Forced into circumstances, dinner obligations, jobs, careers, and even parties we don’t really want to be a part of. People, everyday, around the world, find unhappiness in their lives. People have long said “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” I think there is some truth to this. I had a long talk with someone very important to me, recently, about career choices and opportunity costs. We stood face to face and shared a serious life discussion encompassing feelings of frustration, uncertainty of one’s self, confusion, and ultimately about life and life’s opportunity costs.
This can be a very challenging conversation to have with me because, on the surface, it would seem life has, for the most part, gone my way. Now, I won’t disagree that the end (or current) results of most my efforts have played out in a positive fashion for me. However, NONE of these results were given to me. I was not provided a “head start” in life. It was NOT easy. I don’t have any expectations of any of my goals to be easily achieved. I dream big. I work hard. I make the necessary sacrifices and I do these things until I succeed. I refuse to lose. Without going into too much details, I come from a background of divorced parents. My father has worked in the same factory for nearly 30 years and never graduated high school. He is, to this day, a floor worker at his factory. A blue collar man who works 40 hours a week and has no say in his career. My mother has bounced around jobs since I was just a boy, doing whatever it took to put “food” on the table. She served, worked as a cashier in a grocery mart, etc… I went to a public school of 500 kids. TOTAL.
People always want to know how I got where I am today. I’m happy to answer with “I set goals, I worked hard, I never gave up, even when times were tough, AND THEY WERE TOUGH, and I never ever settled.” As I answer their question, I wonder to myself, where they think I “am”. I don’t feel I’m anywhere near my long term goal of accomplishments. I have SO much more I want to accomplish. So much more I WILL accomplish. My journey never stops, it never ends, nor does the work. It just leads into a new or further direction.
So, back to the topic of the conversation, I realize I SEEM bias in my discussion because of where I am, now, in life. Nonetheless, I have made a long journey to get here, and still have a long journey ahead. So, focusing on just that, the journey. To me, life is enjoyed through many of outlets; travel, health, books, movies, music, food, sewing, writing, the list is infinite. People often look over this “list” in search of what makes them happiest (or even happy). But, I feel they are missing a very key component in the journey of life and all its fruits. Company. In my opinion, the company that you keep, is responsible for nearly ALL of your happiness, or potential for. The relationships we build, develop and maintain are the keys to our happiness and in direct relation to our success – in career work and life.
Think back to your job(s) as a teen and how you thought the job was so terrible, at the time but, now seem so great, even though the actual position was LOW on the totem poll. Think about how much fun you had going to work, coming in hungover and making little to no money. HOW WERE YOU EVER HAPPY?!?! It’s because you Loved your coworkers. I, for instance, had a job at Ruby Tuesdays. I hated it, while I was there but, looking back, I miss SO many of those days. Why? Because I Loved the people I worked with. WHO you surround yourself with (at work, at the gym, in love, IN LIFE) is a MASSIVE component of your happiness. I would be happy picking up poop for $10 / hour if I worked with my 3 BEST friends. Doing something you Like* is important to build from. It also helps ensure SOME common interest with co workers but, WHO you work with, or WHO you live with is what really matter. The relationships we build our life around, they’re everything. Including our relationship with ourself. Cherish these. Develop them. Be patient and nurture them. I wouldn’t be where I am today without my most cherished relationships. Jessica in my love life and day to day, Jack Kelly as one of my best friends, fitness/life/relationship coach and comrade, Zach as my best friend and confidant in EVERYTHING, my little brother and my dad for always supporting me, challenging me and ALWAYS believing in me…. I can go on and on.
Surround yourself with GOOD people. People you like. People you LOVE. Smile. Appreciate the little things. Pat yourself on the back for the little wins, everyday. Cherish your relationships, with yourself and with others. My advice, “Do something you like, with someone you Love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
Joshua "Chachi" Marunde 