Communication Breakdown

Men and Women are different, drastically different. Aside from the (very) obvious physiological differences, we communicate differently. We feel, think, and we act/react MUCH different than one another. This has taken me YEARS of not only living around, interacting with and dating the opposite sex, it’s taken me years of thought, patience, and willingness to understand and further my relationship with my beautiful bride to be.

People of all ages “date” and form relationships but, very few out of the vast group, maintain their relationship(s). It takes work. A lot of work. It takes patience, understanding – and sometimes not understanding, forgiveness, trust, and you have to WANT to get better; you have to WANT to make it work. Every relationship requires commitment and sacrifice, it’s up to the individual to decide if the sacrifice and work is worth the reward. This post isn’t meant to be “couples therapy” so let’s get back to the point… Men are (mostly) logical beings. We think, generally speaking, in terms of problem solving. If something is “wrong”, we want to fix it. Therefor, in our minds, eliminating the problem, or reason for fighting/disagreeing. Women, are mostly, emotions forward beings. They most often times act and react predominantly based on emotion. And keep in minds, emotions don’t always make “sense”, to us as men, OR to them as women. We are scientifically wired differently. Hormones, balances and imbalances… I won’t get into that – bottom line, logic vs emotion. Women often times express feelings and aren’t doing so because they want you to FIX anything, they’re just sharing. They want you to listen to them. To “feel for them”. This, for a male, is often REALLY REALLY difficult to understand and cooperate with.

This post isn’t meant to be a science lesson but, instead, to help you at least SOMEWHAT understand the differences in how men and women communicate. In every relationship, it’s important to step back and LISTEN to not only what the other person is saying but, what they aren’t saying. Do they want a solution? Do they want help? Are they just venting?

LISTEN.

I highly suggest taking 2min and watching this video, preferably with your loved one, not only is it MIND BLOWINGLY relatable, you’ll both get a good laugh of the situation and hopefully learn a little about one another.

Enjoy! – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

Tell’em How You Feel

Everyday I hear someone complain. Often times the complaints are aimed at someone else. This people may be at your job, your house, your relationship, your family, etc… but, nonetheless, people blame other people for their unhappiness. Put very bluntly, have you done anything to change what’s happening? If “Joe” is doing something you dislike, have you let “Joe” know that said action annoys you, upsets you or hurts your feelings? Have you given “Joe” a shot to get better? Given him/her a chance to correct his/her mistakes? People are different, every one of us. It’s a fact of life we must learn to live with and TRY to understand, people are going to do things we don’t like. People will inevitably do things that upset you and more times than not, they’ll have no idea their actions are upsetting, unless you let them know.

In my career, I’m forced to not only work with but, live with 10 other men. We have some things in common… we all eat, breath, sleep and enjoy music… that’s about it. It’s a struggle. Daily. But, it’s taught me so much about learning from others, communication skills, and problem solving. If someone on the bus is doing something I don’t like, and all I’m doing about it is complaining to another band member about it, how can I expect the person aggravating me to ever change? Or even know I’m upset. It’s MY fault. If I’m upset and I refuse to tell anyone about it, it’s my fault. Face the facts, accept responsibility, and fix it. Be an adult. You don’t need to be rude or aggressive but, if Joe is leaving his dishes out and it bother me, I need to tell Joe. I need to at least give him a CHANCE to correct it, to let him have a chance at being more aware and considerate of others. If after 2-3 reminders, Joe still leaves his dirty mug out, break it over his head…

But seriously, speak up, be friendly, use your words, and be heard. Life will be all the greater and so much easier when we communicate. Men – own up and speak your feelings once in a while.